Modesty Talk

Modesty. What comes to mind when you read that term? What other people wear? What you wear (or maybe used to)? What is popular to wear?

The dictionary definition of modesty, in fact, has very little to do with clothing. One definition I have includes "(1) Freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc. (2) regards for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc. (3) simplicity; moderation." Besides the short reference to dress, there is no mention of clothing.

The Bible's handling of the subject has even less to do specifically with what we would call "immodest clothing." The most famous verse on modesty, I Timothy 2:9-10, states, "in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works." If anything, "immodesty" in this context is wearing a ball dress and jewels to church! However, taken together, modesty seems to be the keeping of your behavior, manners, and dress from being vain or self-glorious.

This goes against our popular definition of modesty, which much like the word "organic," doesn't really mean what it means anymore. To talk of immodesty, we are more likely thinking of a swimsuit issue model then of someone who is boastful and vain--but what does the Bible say? Reasoning from I Timothy 2:9-10, vanity of the heart leads to vanity in dress, which means immodest clothing is a symptom of a sinful heart, not necessarily the sin itself.

If this is the case, how do we teach our daughters the value of modesty? In a big way, by leading by example, but also by teaching them the standards of modest talk and behavior at a young age to help them avoid the swimsuit issue problem at a more mature age. If our little ladies despise vanity and self-glory, they will naturally be in love with the good examples of dressing once they are old enough to understand the consequences of their dress and behavior. This is similar, in a way, to teaching sons the discipline of self-control at a young age, so they will be equipped for the temptations of adolescence. We shouldn't have to fear for our teenagers' dress, if they despise boastfulness and self-centered vainglory when they are young.

How then do we deal with immodesty in the world? If it is true that immodest dress is a symptom of a sinful heart, we should not be surprised that it is everywhere. However, this just goes to show us how much the world needs the Gospel. A scantily-clad woman, then, should be the subject of our compassion. She is a lost soul and needs Christ, and our daughters should eventually be equipped to minister to her (but their brothers can run and hide).

I Think I'll Eat Some Worms

I am constantly amazed by the nonstop doctrine women seem to get on the issue of happiness. It seems that we are told by everyone in the world, that we need to love ourselves and accept ourselves for who we are. We need to look in the mirror and love the person that is there, instead of agonizing over our shortcomings and faults.

This seems to be simple good advice, but maybe that's because we hear this everywhere we look. However, Jesus stated that the second greatest commandment was to "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39). In stating this, He was quoting Leviticus 19, which gives specific instructions on how to love your neighbor. The Bible, then, takes it for granted that you love yourself already. It would be impossible to command someone to love their neighbor "as themself," if that person was incapable of doing so.

What is it, then, when a woman is highly self-critical? Whether she hates the way she looks, or her body shape, or her clothing, or the way she talks, etc., etc.? Is this really self-hatred? Does she only need to learn to love herself?

I would submit that the answer is no. Constantly thinking about the way she looks or her own faults is a form of self-love--in fact, it's too much of it. If you're constantly thinking of yourself--even if it is criticism--you are being, quite practically, self-centered. Everyone notices the way you look bad, everyone notices what you just said, everyone is thinking about how you don't look appropriate.

The solution to this self-centeredness, is certainly not more of it. The last thing a lady in this type of trouble needs is more time to focus on herself. However, what she does need is a healthy dose of self-lessness. Instead of thinking about her own problems, her own looks, her own issues, what she needs is to forget about herself. Busy and productive women don't have the time to obsess about themselves, and this selflessness is what truly leads to lasting happiness. Truly giving selflessly what we are and what we have is a death that God rewards with resurrection joy.

This is not a morbid, begrudging giving, as in, "I'm just a doormat, I'll give everything to everyone else, no one cares about me"--which is just another form, once again, of self-centeredness. But this is a joyful offering of worship to God, in all the charity we give to our neighbor. As C.S. Lewis said, "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."

The Reaper is Grim Because He Is Doomed

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints." Psalm 116:15

On Wednesday this week two dear saints saw the sun for the last time this side of glory. One was my 83-year-old grandmother, who passed away peacefully in her sleep at the hospital. She was a missionary, pastor and professor's wife, mother to four godly children, 12 grandchildren, and 7 great-grandchildren. She lived a full life, was close to friends and family, and finished the race.

The other was my friend's nephew, born at only 15 weeks gestation. He saw the brightness of the sun and heard his mother's voice before also passing away, without a sound.

Death is always hard, and always grim. Death is the last enemy, and even when the race is finished well, it still ends in tragedy. We are called to fight this enemy our entire lives, all the time knowing that he will win and he cannot be cheated.

It is easy to thank God for my grandmother's life. She accomplished much, and died at peace, old and full of years. However, it is harder with the tiny baby, who had such a short life. Why was he created only to die? Why did God choose to take this tiny one home so soon? Maybe I only have a hard time because I have said good-bye to my own tiny babies several times.

And then I was reminded that the Creator wants us to be like Him. He sees all tragedies, all small, quiet deaths, everywhere, every day. In that moment when that young mother said both hello and good-bye to her son, she was given the opportunity to grieve as God does who is present at every death, millions of people every day. He sees His enemy at work, on a massive scale, and is waiting for the perfect timing to sound his defeat.

Jesus showed us that death will be defeated. I will see my grandmother again, at a great feast, drinking wine and rejoicing. This mother will hold her baby boy. But, like our Heavenly Father, we have this opportunity, here and now, to see through His eyes. The blessing is to be present at the side of a loved one, and cry out as they breathe their last breath, just as He does all around the world, every day.

The Big, Bad Wolf

There is a reason why we named our daughter after a fairy tale hero, mostly because we love fairy tales. We love the ancient-ness of fairy tales and the Christian stories of fairy tales, which includes lots of witch-burning and troll killing.

I was raised knowing all the famous fairy tales, and as soon as I had children, I knew that they needed to know them too. It was part of their culture to know who the big, bad wolf is and why you should always listen to your mother's instructions. We got a beautiful copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales when my oldest was still a newborn, and began to read the stories as soon as the kids were old enough to listen.

As I started reading them aloud, though, I realized that many parts of the stories ruffled my adult comfort feathers. There were some gruesome parts, some seemingly ignorant parts, and some violent parts. Sometimes I hesitated to read these stories--like the fact that Hansel and Gretel's mother wanted to abandon them in the woods and let them starve to death. But I also realized that if I cleaned up these stories, I would be guilty of the same crime the Disney Corporation has been committing for years!

But what really taught me to love the fairy tales--in all their bawdiness and gruesomeness--was that I want my children to love the Bible in the same way. Our family standard of "appropriate" is anything you can find in the Bible, and fairy tales fit neatly into that category. The Bible is certainly not G-rated (despite what this may lead you to believe), but we still want our kids to know and love all of it. That doesn't mean that they need to know in detail what some of the racier sections mean (like my personal favorite, Leviticus 15), but they shouldn't be shocked when an unbeliever tries to discredit God's Word by surprising them with the Book of Judges.

I also realized that all of those same elements that bothered me in fairy tales as an adult, were still in those stories when I was a kid, and didn't bother me at all. Most of these stories, at least those written in the medieval days, were entirely Christian. They spoke the truth about the gospel in a way that was written specifically for children to understand.

In elementary school I remember begging my own mother to tell me a Bible story that I'd never heard before. She opened up Judges and read the story of Ehud killing Eglon. It was the first time I can remember being fascinated and grossed out by something simultaneously. Children everywhere seem to be fascinated by the grotesque, and nearly nothing we can do as parents will make them fall in love with perfectionism. This is why toddlers stare at odd people in a way that makes their parents want to melt into the carpet. And why those same toddlers create chaos anywhere they find order. The Bible and fairy tales are one way to direct that fascination the way God intended it: to show mercy to those who are beaten down, and what to with those who are doing the beating.

Science Friday

Today in the car I happened to catch the first few minutes of NPR's Science Friday with Ira Flatow. I used to listen to this more often, and he would occasionally irritate me with his social and political interpretations of science, all the while pretending to report things from a truly scientific perspective. However, today I laughed out loud in the car listening to this week's line-up of stories, which you can see here.

Notice anything funny? The first story is "Defending Climate Science's Place in the Classroom," where he reports that just like the anti-science of Creationism was being pushed in public schools, now the anti-science of climate change doubters is causing problems. He had nothing nice to say about either the Creationists or the Doubters.

But here's where it gets funny--the next story was about the benefits of meditation and included an on-air meditation session. Lastly, was a look at the planet Mars and its possibilities for life.

So here's what I learned: Creationism is stupid and to doubt climate change is ignorant, but meditation and Martians are healthy and scientific.

The Underground

Right now I'm reading this and loving it. Dostoevsky has an amazing talent for irony and sarcasm (which seem to be the theme of all my favorite writers). The first story in the collection is a striking satire on romance, which is hilarious. However, my favorite "short" story in the collection (really the longest one) has to be Notes from the Underground. The very epitome of irony, malice, and man's sinful heart. I'm also starting to notice lots of similarities between Dostoevsky and Chesterton; including their love of irony, irrationalism, and the common peasant of their own countries.

Here's a bit of fun from Notes from the Underground on free will:

"For man is stupid, phenomenally stupid.....I would not be at all surprised, for instance, if suddenly and without the slightest possible reason a gentleman of an ignoble or rather a reactionary and sardonic countenance were to arise amid all that future reign of universal common sense....and say to us all, 'Well, gentlemen, what about giving all this common sense a mighty kick and letting it scatter in the dust before our feet simply to send all those logarithms to the devil so that we can again live according to our foolish will?' That wouldn't matter, either, but for the regrettable fact that he would certainly find followers: for man is made like that."

Stealing

I've known for a long time that the government does stupid things. I've known for a long time that social programs like medicare and social security and income tax are foolish and wasteful, but up until now, I've realized recently, all that knowledge was up in my head, not connected to the real world except for the random news story.

For the last three years we've been involved in starting our school, and my eyes have been opened more and more to how the IRS deals with employers, as opposed to employees, but this week I think I've seen the worst example of just plain stealing.

Our school received a letter from the IRS that based on last year's tax amounts, next year we'll have to owe twice as much in employee taxes (not sure how they came up with that idea). Anyway, based on that tax level our school needs to file employee taxes monthly instead of quarterly, and if we don't, we will be fined. The only way to remedy this situation is to actually call the IRS (no e-mails or faxes are allowed here), be on hold for half the day, and hopefully find a thoughtful, compassionate IRS agent (heh, heh, heh) who will listen to your explanation that their estimate is a complete lie and fabrication, and please let us keep filing quarterly.

So I set out to do that today, and guess what? The IRS answering system is broken and they won't be receiving any calls. The answering system is at least able to say, "Please call back at another time and try again."