Sunday, April 26, 2009

Our Nanny

Aren't you glad that we have a government that knows what's best for us?  The federal government has promised to treat the swine flu exactly like they would deal with a hurricane.  Won't we all be sleeping better tonight knowing that?

OK.  So that's two sarcastic posts in a row.  I'll stop now.

Welcome to the 21st Century!

Gavin Newsom, the young liberal mayor of San Francisco, has formally entered the race for California's governor, to be held in 2010.  We know this because he announced it on his Facebook page.  I wonder if he only lets his "friends" vote for him?  We can only hope.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

You Know You Are Old When...

the classic rock station plays songs that you remember being on the Top 40 station.


Friday, April 17, 2009

The Narnian

So a few weeks ago the boys were invited to a Narnia-themed birthday celebration.  They needed to come as their favorite characters, and they got a little carried away (or maybe their parents did).

  Mr. Tumnus the Faun

 Trumpkin the Dwarf

Leif is currently enamored with old men's beards.  His favorite characters are always dwarfs and the old Obi Wan Kenobi from Star Wars.  The other day he told me that he will be a man when he turns 5, and he will grow his beard when he's 5.  He really wants a beard.

Note to child social services: No actual tobacco was included in the pipes portrayed in the above pictures.  They were merely for theatrical effect to portray the joviality and fun times to be had in Narnia involving tobacco.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I Could Just Put One on my Car

25 Random Things about my Betta Fish

This is dedicated to all of those acquiring "first pets" for their young children.

1.  WHAT IS YOUR BETTA FISH'S NAME? Wall-E.

2.  WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BETTA FISH? Kind of bluish-purple/black

3.  WHAT DOES YOUR BETTA FISH DO FOR FUN? Lies on the bottom of its tank.

4.  RIGHT NOW, WHAT COLOR IS THE WATER IN ITS TANK? Milky green.

5.  IS IT MALE OR FEMALE, OR DO YOU NOT KNOW? Female, we know because the pet store man said so.

6.  WHAT IS YOUR BETTA FISH'S FAVORITE SWIMMING POSITION? Motionless.

7.  HOW OLD IS YOUR BETTA FISH? A few months?

8.  WHAT COLOR IS THE GRAVEL IN THE TANK? Blue.

9.  HOW OFTEN DOES YOUR BETTA FISH EAT?  Once every few days.

10.  HOW LONG DO YOU THINK YOUR BETTA FISH CAN GO WITHOUT EATING?  Really long, maybe a week?  After a couple of days she starts eating air and making herself float.  "Oh no!  Wall-E's floating!!  When was the last time we fed her?"

11.  WHO BOUGHT YOUR BETTA FISH?  My 3-year-old son.

12.  HOW LONG HAVE YOU EVER MADE YOUR BETTA FISH GO WITHOUT EATING?  2-3 days.

13.  WHEN DID YOU GET YOUR BETTA FISH?  A few months ago?

14.  WHAT TALENTS DOES YOUR BETTA FISH HAVE?  She can go for days facing straight up towards the top of the bowl, tail down.

15.  WHAT TRICKS CAN YOUR BETTA FISH DO?  Swim.

16.  WHO FEEDS YOUR BETTA FISH?  I do.

17.  HOW LONG DO YOU THINK/HOPE YOUR BETTA FISH WILL LIVE?  Long enough to have a good life.

18.  HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU THOUGHT YOUR BETTA FISH WAS DEAD?  Too many to count.

19.  HAVE YOU EVER NEARLY FLUSHED YOUR BETTA FISH DOWN THE TOILET, BUT AT THE LAST MOMENT HE/SHE SHOWED YOU THAT HE/SHE'S STILL ALIVE?  Yes.

20.  HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DONE #19? At least once.

21.  DO YOU EVER WONDER HOW A BETTA FISH EVER SURVIVED IN THE WILD?  Every day.

22.  WHAT KIND OF FOOD HAVE YOU FED YOUR BETTA FISH?  Fish food, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner, stuffing, chocolate cake.

23.  IF YOU FEED YOUR BETTA FISH NORMAL FISH FOOD, HOW MANY GRANULES DOES HE/SHE EAT PER DAY?  4 if she's really hungry.

24.  WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR BETTA FISH THINKS ABOUT?  The meaning of life--no really I think she thinks about....hmmmm......I know!  "Now it's light.  Now it's dark.  Now it's light again..."

25.  WOULD YOU EVER BUY ANOTHER BETTA FISH JUST TO SEE IF THEY REALLY WOULD BITE EACH OTHERS' HEADS OFF?  Yes.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

My Husband Rolled His Eyes....

I'm glad that there are people out there with enough time on their hands to produce their own versions of the classics:

Classical Camelot

Classical Maritime Adventure

Classical Oratorio

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Freaky Smart

Are you ever just blown away and freaked out sometimes when your children show you that they have intricate, complicated minds?  Especially when they're still preschool age?  

This probably falls under the category of "Shameless Appeal from Doting Parent," but I'm going to share it anyway.  My 3-year-old just freaked me out by how smart he was.  In preschool today they played a game with balloons.  When we got home I asked him if he had fun with the balloons and he said, "Yes.  I liked the red balloons, and there were 1, 2 of them.  I really liked the blue ones, but there was only 1 blue one."  Intrigued by the thought of him remembering this I asked, "And how many white ones were there?"  He answers, "1, 2, 3, 4.  No; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 white ones."  By now I'm starting to freak out.  "How many pink ones?"  I ask with amazement.  "I told you, Mama, there were 2 pink ones and 2 red ones.  There were 2 purple ones.  There were no orange ones, but one yellow one.  Mama, I really have to go potty now."

So there you go.  My child is Rain Man.