Lady Sybil

The Reaper is Grim Because He Is Doomed

2012-01-27T12:56:00.000-08:00

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints." Psalm 116:15

On Wednesday this week two dear saints saw the sun for the last time this side of glory. One was my 83-year-old grandmother, who passed away peacefully in her sleep at the hospital. She was a missionary, pastor and professor's wife, mother to four godly children, 12 grandchildren, and 7 great-grandchildren. She lived a full life, was close to friends and family, and finished the race.

The other was my friend's nephew, born at only 15 weeks gestation. He saw the brightness of the sun and heard his mother's voice before also passing away, without a sound.

Death is always hard, and always grim. Death is the last enemy, and even when the race is finished well, it still ends in tragedy. We are called to fight this enemy our entire lives, all the time knowing that he will win and he cannot be cheated.

It is easy to thank God for my grandmother's life. She accomplished much, and died at peace, old and full of years. However, it is harder with the tiny baby, who had such a short life. Why was he created only to die? Why did God choose to take this tiny one home so soon? Maybe I only have a hard time because I have said good-bye to my own tiny babies several times.

And then I was reminded that the Creator wants us to be like Him. He sees all tragedies, all small, quiet deaths, everywhere, every day. In that moment when that young mother said both hello and good-bye to her son, she was given the opportunity to grieve as God does who is present at every death, millions of people every day. He sees His enemy at work, on a massive scale, and is waiting for the perfect timing to sound his defeat.

Jesus showed us that death will be defeated. I will see my grandmother again, at a great feast, drinking wine and rejoicing. This mother will hold her baby boy. But, like our Heavenly Father, we have this opportunity, here and now, to see through His eyes. The blessing is to be present at the side of a loved one, and cry out as they breathe their last breath, just as He does all around the world, every day.

The Big, Bad Wolf

2012-01-24T16:20:00.000-08:00

There is a reason why we named our daughter after a fairy tale hero, mostly because we love fairy tales. We love the ancient-ness of fairy tales and the Christian stories of fairy tales, which includes lots of witch-burning and troll killing.

I was raised knowing all the famous fairy tales, and as soon as I had children, I knew that they needed to know them too. It was part of their culture to know who the big, bad wolf is and why you should always listen to your mother's instructions. We got a beautiful copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales when my oldest was still a newborn, and began to read the stories as soon as the kids were old enough to listen.

As I started reading them aloud, though, I realized that many parts of the stories ruffled my adult comfort feathers. There were some gruesome parts, some seemingly ignorant parts, and some violent parts. Sometimes I hesitated to read these stories--like the fact that Hansel and Gretel's mother wanted to abandon them in the woods and let them starve to death. But I also realized that if I cleaned up these stories, I would be guilty of the same crime the Disney Corporation has been committing for years!

But what really taught me to love the fairy tales--in all their bawdiness and gruesomeness--was that I want my children to love the Bible in the same way. Our family standard of "appropriate" is anything you can find in the Bible, and fairy tales fit neatly into that category. The Bible is certainly not G-rated (despite what this may lead you to believe), but we still want our kids to know and love all of it. That doesn't mean that they need to know in detail what some of the racier sections mean (like my personal favorite, Leviticus 15), but they shouldn't be shocked when an unbeliever tries to discredit God's Word by surprising them with the Book of Judges.

I also realized that all of those same elements that bothered me in fairy tales as an adult, were still in those stories when I was a kid, and didn't bother me at all. Most of these stories, at least those written in the medieval days, were entirely Christian. They spoke the truth about the gospel in a way that was written specifically for children to understand.

In elementary school I remember begging my own mother to tell me a Bible story that I'd never heard before. She opened up Judges and read the story of Ehud killing Eglon. It was the first time I can remember being fascinated and grossed out by something simultaneously. Children everywhere seem to be fascinated by the grotesque, and nearly nothing we can do as parents will make them fall in love with perfectionism. This is why toddlers stare at odd people in a way that makes their parents want to melt into the carpet. And why those same toddlers create chaos anywhere they find order. The Bible and fairy tales are one way to direct that fascination the way God intended it: to show mercy to those who are beaten down, and what to with those who are doing the beating.

Science Friday

2012-01-20T16:26:00.000-08:00

Today in the car I happened to catch the first few minutes of NPR's Science Friday with Ira Flatow. I used to listen to this more often, and he would occasionally irritate me with his social and political interpretations of science, all the while pretending to report things from a truly scientific perspective. However, today I laughed out loud in the car listening to this week's line-up of stories, which you can see here.

Notice anything funny? The first story is "Defending Climate Science's Place in the Classroom," where he reports that just like the anti-science of Creationism was being pushed in public schools, now the anti-science of climate change doubters is causing problems. He had nothing nice to say about either the Creationists or the Doubters.

But here's where it gets funny--the next story was about the benefits of meditation and included an on-air meditation session. Lastly, was a look at the planet Mars and its possibilities for life.

So here's what I learned: Creationism is stupid and to doubt climate change is ignorant, but meditation and Martians are healthy and scientific.

The Underground

2012-01-12T13:17:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm reading this and loving it. Dostoevsky has an amazing talent for irony and sarcasm (which seem to be the theme of all my favorite writers). The first story in the collection is a striking satire on romance, which is hilarious. However, my favorite "short" story in the collection (really the longest one) has to be Notes from the Underground. The very epitome of irony, malice, and man's sinful heart. I'm also starting to notice lots of similarities between Dostoevsky and Chesterton; including their love of irony, irrationalism, and the common peasant of their own countries.

Here's a bit of fun from Notes from the Underground on free will:

"For man is stupid, phenomenally stupid.....I would not be at all surprised, for instance, if suddenly and without the slightest possible reason a gentleman of an ignoble or rather a reactionary and sardonic countenance were to arise amid all that future reign of universal common sense....and say to us all, 'Well, gentlemen, what about giving all this common sense a mighty kick and letting it scatter in the dust before our feet simply to send all those logarithms to the devil so that we can again live according to our foolish will?' That wouldn't matter, either, but for the regrettable fact that he would certainly find followers: for man is made like that."

Stealing

2011-12-01T13:21:00.000-08:00

I've known for a long time that the government does stupid things. I've known for a long time that social programs like medicare and social security and income tax are foolish and wasteful, but up until now, I've realized recently, all that knowledge was up in my head, not connected to the real world except for the random news story.

For the last three years we've been involved in starting our school, and my eyes have been opened more and more to how the IRS deals with employers, as opposed to employees, but this week I think I've seen the worst example of just plain stealing.

Our school received a letter from the IRS that based on last year's tax amounts, next year we'll have to owe twice as much in employee taxes (not sure how they came up with that idea). Anyway, based on that tax level our school needs to file employee taxes monthly instead of quarterly, and if we don't, we will be fined. The only way to remedy this situation is to actually call the IRS (no e-mails or faxes are allowed here), be on hold for half the day, and hopefully find a thoughtful, compassionate IRS agent (heh, heh, heh) who will listen to your explanation that their estimate is a complete lie and fabrication, and please let us keep filing quarterly.

So I set out to do that today, and guess what? The IRS answering system is broken and they won't be receiving any calls. The answering system is at least able to say, "Please call back at another time and try again."

I Think I Need to Shop There

2011-11-10T12:44:00.000-08:00

Check out the sign at Nordstrom's:

Amoretti: Giveaway!

2011-11-07T10:24:00.000-08:00

Amoretti: Giveaway!

This Is Impressive

2011-10-24T14:13:00.001-07:00

OK, so maybe there's one guy besides Calvin Coolidge I could vote for...

Dora the Explorer

2011-10-22T16:25:00.001-07:00

Keeping Up With Thor

2011-10-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

I have always wanted to read Snorri Sturluson's masterpiece of Norse mythology, the Prose Edda. I recently started a copy and am loving it. By far the most enjoyable mythology I've ever read. There is something about the Norse gods that they never take themselves very seriously--unlike the Greek ones that always seem to believe they are terribly important. My husband believes this is because Sturluson, as the first to compile all the Norse myths, was a Christian, he had a different view of his own cultural mythology then the pagan Greeks did (such as Ovid or Plutarch).

It's a shame most of those Norse gods were pagans, since they would have been fun to have a beer with someday.

And Because They Really Do Exist

2011-10-14T19:18:00.001-07:00

Just started this middle school read...

So far it's fun, we'll see how it goes.

A Very Good Book (But, yes, it IS scary)

2011-09-22T13:39:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago I read Coraline by Neil Gaiman. I read a lot of children's (young adult) novels, and this one ranks among the very best. In fact, if I have my way, my kids will hopefully enjoy it as much as they do Narnia.

The story is about Coraline, a little girl who wants to live in a fantasy world, because she hates the world in which she lives. She is frustrated and upset with her mildly-neglectful parents who won't entertain her all day long, and she's an ungrateful whiner. She goes on to discover a real-life fantasy world, that gives her everything she wants, until she realizes that it's actually a curse.

Like all good little-girl heroines, she ends up slaying a witch, and her methods are not unlike those of Jael in the Old Testament book of Judges (by destroying her enemy through hospitality). She repents and learns gratitude, and in so doing, discovers that the real world is infinitely more magical then her escapist fantasies. In fact, in Coraline, Gaiman quotes directly from G.K. Chesterton and his chapter "The Ethics of Elfland" in Orthodoxy. This is where Chesterton explains the value of fairy tales because they open our eyes to the very every-day magic we are surrounded with (and ignore, because of our own dullness).

Just for two pre-warnings, the book is definitely creepy (and the illustrations more so), but by middle school age it would likely qualify as creepy and fun (not scary, as it may for some younger children). Also, there was a movie based on the book which came out several years ago. Do yourself a favor and avoid it completely. It changes the end of the book (no more Jael scene), and displays some pretty bad taste for something aimed at a G-rated audience.

Just Wait for the Saturday Morning Cartoon (and matching Breakfast Cereal)

2011-09-21T13:41:00.000-07:00

For some reason my children have this idea that yeast is a superhero. I believe this stems from several years ago, when they asked how bread is made. I've made sourdough, so I tried to explain that these invisible particles, called yeast, float through the air and land on the dough, eating the sugar. Their toddler-boy minds probably most enjoyed the description I gave them on how the little yeasties make the dough actually rise, but I'll leave that up to your imagination.

Anyhow, it's become quite a rock-paper-scissors-dynamite type game, where whomever claims to be the yeast ends up winning by default. For example:

Thing 1: "And then I'll be the giant who saves everybody."
Thing 2: "Then I'll be the Papa who saves everybody."
Thing 1: "Well, then I'll be the super-fast robot who wins."
Thing 2: "I am the super-fast robot whose batteries don't run out."
Thing 1: "Then I'll be the yeast."

At this point an awed silence comes over the both of them as they consider the wonder of this amazing creature.

I Have a Dream

2011-09-20T17:33:00.000-07:00

That one day I will get up at 5:00 am. I will have a big, heavy camera and lug it out into the middle of an orchard. And I will take photos like Eugene Atget.

I will then lug my big, heavy silver plates into a darkroom at home and come out smelling like developer. And hang gorgeous black-and-white and sepia photos around my home.

I Wish We Had More Politicians

2011-08-30T13:42:00.001-07:00

I am currently reading the autobiography of my new presidential hero, Calvin Coolidge. He had a hard life, but probably had more integrity than nearly all of our current politicians combined. He was named after his father, John Calvin Coolidge, and he named his two sons John and Calvin. Talk about some serious Puritan roots.

This is what he said about the presidency:

"It is a great advantage to a President, and a major source of safety to the country, for him to know that he is not a great man. "

Now if we could only get more politicians like that, I wouldn't mind having a few more around.

Raising 21st Century Children

2011-04-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

So the conversation in the car yesterday with my 6-year-old...

L: Mama, I wish my brain was a computer, then I would know everything.

Me: (after laughing) Are you really sure that computers know everything?

L: Yes! If you don't know something, you just put it in the computer, and the computer answers it for you!

Me: Uh-oh.

Very Old Fashioned Feminism

2011-03-01T16:23:00.000-08:00

Reading Chesterton seems to be an inspiration to blog. Yesterday, reading a few more essays, I came across some of his statements on Victorianism and feminism which were extremely enlightening. Earlier this year I read a wonderful book, The Feminization of American Culture, by Ann Douglas, where she showed that 20th century feminism came straight out of Victorian sentimentalism. Chesterton clearly agrees with her, so now I know that she's right:

"This humourless hammering on one note is like the worst Victorian fads; Temperance or Feminism. It is especially like that very old-fashioned Feminism that hated to be feminine....It means that women dress like men; not that men dress like women. Now that is sheer stark, stale, dead Victorianism. That is the only original Woman's Rights Woman, who deliberately made herself hideous with bloomers and goggles." [emphasis mine].

Chesterton, himself, was the child of Victorians, and was born towards the very end of Queen Victoria's reign, so he saw what he was talking about. If you're saying to yourself, now that doesn't sound much like Victorianism to me--even by his adult years the definition of Victorianism had warped. Check this out:

"While the world has been talking about removing Victorian taboos, I have been resolved from the first to remove that one Victorian taboo; which really was a senseless and strangling taboo; the taboo on the topic of real religion, and its real and inevitable place in practical life. Most of the things the Moderns call Victorian taboos are about as Victorian as the Ten Commandments or the maxims of Confucius. But this really was Victorian, in the sense of having arisen recently in a vulgar, commercial and cowardly social system. It is not the notion that it is right or wrong to be a Moslem; it is the notion that it cannot really matter even to a Moslem that he is a Moslem. What is totally intolerable is the idea that everybody must pretend, for the sake of peace and decorum, that moral inspiration only comes from secular things...and cannot possibly come from spiritual things..." [emphasis his].

It looks as though as far as our age despises and scorns Victorianism, we are despising and scorning ourselves.

Chesterton for President

2011-02-28T12:50:00.000-08:00

I had a rare find this weekend--Borders in town is going out of business, and I found a compilation of G.K. Chesterton's essays that I hadn't read yet! This one is called The Well and the Shallows and it is one of the last things he wrote, just before World War II. I know the guy was a journalist, not a politician, but I still would have voted for him--if I ever could have. Here's some of the gems:

"The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent those mistakes from being corrected."

"The State did not own men so entirely, even when it could send them to the stake, as it sometimes does now where it can send them to the elementary school."

"Those who leave the tradition of truth do not escape into something which we call Freedom. They only escape into something else, which we call Fashion."

Good News in the Middle East

2011-02-01T13:28:00.001-08:00

So if Egypt and Tunisia sound like the last place you want to be, check out this that happened this past week. Of course, it is barely mentioned on major news networks. Southern Sudan is nearly entirely Christian, while the north is predominantly Muslim.

Thought for the Day

2011-01-25T15:21:00.000-08:00

What worries me is that smart people can get smarter with the internet, ‘cause they can tell reliable sites from those that are not. But for the dumb people… I think the internet is just making them dumber and dumber.

--Brian Regan

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

2011-01-12T13:00:00.000-08:00

So I took my Segundus on a rare trip to McDonald's today to bring lunch to Papa at work. I haven't ordered a Happy Meal in a while and when I did they offered "would you like milk or juice with that?" What? "Um, do you have Coke?" I asked. They did, and I also ordered a nice, big burger meal for Papa as a treat.

When I got my receipt I realized that I had to pay $1 extra to get a Coke with the kids' Happy Meal, whereas the adult combo meal came with a Coke! Hmmm...now if you want to be healthy, by all means, be healthy; but what's the deal with letting adults have a Coke and forcing the kids to have milk or juice? I think McDonald's should just switch everybody to milk or juice and see how long it takes for the adults to have a fit--when they do, the management should just stand back and ask them how they think the kids feel.

I go to McDonald's for fun, certainly not to be healthy, but what exactly is fun about milk or juice?

The End of Hope

2010-11-22T11:34:00.001-08:00

My husband was listening to some church chants the other day and one line in the chant struck me, "Our God alone is great." Recent materialist atheists have tried to insist that God is Not Great, which makes you wonder, with a title like that, why they're atheists at all.

Anyway, along with Christopher Hitchens' book, there is also Sam Harris and his presumptuous book title, The End of Faith. Now although Sam Harris likes to pretend he's a materialistic scientist, his book is actually quite full of superstition and Buddhism. The last chapter, in fact, argues that Buddhism is somehow a true materialist religion (if that were possible). Now I have known some real materialistic scientists in my day, and their reasoning is marginally more logical than Harris'. One professor I had actually believed that all scientists should be agnostics; as if the scientific method should govern your whole life if you are a scientist (scary the implications that might have for childraising)! However, if the material world is all we see, and there is no God, or possibly no great one, than why continue to function as human beings at all? The end of faith inevitably leads to the end of hope.

Hope is only possible in a universe with a good God. It is not possible in a universe with no god, and it is not possible in a universe with an evil or capricious god. To trust that any action we do could possibly be of any value to any other human somewhere, is to function on the principle that God is Great. When this is seen through the light of the Incarnation, God's goodness and greatness are staggering. Words fail me, but a friend of mine wrote this when reflecting on an insignificant colony of ants:

We could say He cares nothing for our pain. We could say He is not good. We could say we don't understand why the sky isn't all rainbows and why the common cold exists. But we would be fools. And somehow, He would still like us.

How much do I care for these ants? I think I care. I'll stop to watch their wars. I'll buy my children documentaries--insect tributes. I won't crush them when I can help it.

But, if given the chance, would I be willing to become one of them? Would I be willing for them to drag me to the place of execution, taunt me, mock me, ridicule the gift I offered, a gift entirely beyond their comprehension? Would I be willing for the earwig, executed beside me, to add his insults to those of the ants? Would I be willing to die?

Hell no. Never. I have more self-regard than God does. I have less love for the characters beneath me.

--N.D. Wilson, Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl

Happy Advent.

Our Own Personal TSA Nightmare

2010-11-17T14:28:00.001-08:00

In light of everyone recently realizing how scary the TSA full-body scanners and pat-downs are, here's a little story about what happened to us this summer.

We were flying out of White Plains, NY airport back home to the west coast. My 4-year-old would like to be a farmer when he grows up, so he likes to wear his overalls. Having no idea of the nightmare we were in for by letting him do so, he wanted to wear his overalls on the airplane.

Going through the metal detectors, my husband and I split up--he took the 6-year-old through and I took the 4-year-old. Of course, the metal straps on his overalls caused the metal detector to go nuts. The attendant instructed him to go to a waiting area to be "wanded," and told me that I could wait with him.

When the next attendant arrived, he told me that both myself and my son were going to need a full pat-down! I was now a suspect, because I had "touched my son's hand while in the waiting area." My husband saw the commotion, and my refusal to comply, and came over to argue our case. The TSA supervisor was called to say that if we refused a pat-down then we could all "find another mode of travel." We were outraged. My husband insisted that we would neither be pat-down, nor would we leave the area. We are all for catching terrorists, but how on earth does a pat-down of a 4-year-old who's wearing overalls aid in catching criminals? The TSA supervisor stated that it was all just to assure the other passengers that they were "safe." "For goodness sake!" I cried, "How would a pat-down of a 4-year-old make me feel safe? That makes me more scared to fly!"

Basically by being difficult and insisting on our rights they finally just gave in and let us go, thank God. While sitting in the waiting area, trying to calm down we heard the following announcement made by the flight attendants, "Mr. Saladin...Mr. Saladin...would you please board your plane immediately for Washington, D.C." Hmmm...and you went after the 4-year-old in overalls, instead of Mr. Saladin heading to the capitol building?

A Mystery To Me

2010-11-09T15:20:00.000-08:00

Usually, while driving, I give pedestrians the right-of-way. This probably stems back from driver's ed when we had to attend traffic court for a day and take notes on the cases. I remember someone came to protest a ticket he was given when he cut off a pedestrian who was crossing the sidewalk. The driver was wrong and still got the ticket.

Anyway, it is a complete mystery to me how this deference has gotten me into trouble. The pedestrian sees me coming, stops, and starts waving me ahead of them. I absolutely refuse (I AM the one in the vehicle), and insist they go first. I have received no end of nasty looks, waves, curses, glares, and shaking of heads as a result. Whenever I happen to be the pedestrian, I'm always grateful to those cars who show deference, and usually wave and say thank you. Is this just because of the weirdos I live around, or do all city pedestrians tend toward nastiness?

Hmmmm....

"In these days we are accused of attacking science because we want it to be scientific."

2010-10-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

So that is a quote from G.K. Chesterton, and I read it the same day as I watched something else that made me realize that virtually nothing has changed in the 100 years since he wrote.

I've been watching too much of a show called MonsterQuest, mostly because some of the episodes have the potential to be cool. They go searching for legendary creatures and monsters, and unfortunately, since the show is a History Channel special, you already know that they don't find the creature--otherwise it would be on the evening news, and not on MonsterQuest. Still, the quest is usually enjoyable.

I was having fun watching the episode on the possible sauropod that lives in the jungles of Camaroon and Congo. They spent the first 20 minutes showing the locals--who are completely isolated from modern media--identifying dinosaurs, describing dinosaurs, pointing to pictures of dinosaurs. Then they cut to the "scientific expert." He was a paleontologist at Big University who stated that all this was a "complete evolutionary impossibility." When faced with eyewitness testimony, he could only assert, "in their culture, they don't understand the difference between things that are real and things that aren't." Wow. I always knew evolutionism was racist...but there you go. So much for science being about exploration and discovery, that was about as close-minded as you can get. I've known my fair share of paleontologists, who have called me close-minded for my Creationism, but every theory will leave you open-minded to some things, and close-minded to others--the question really is, which hypothesis fits the evidence better?

As Chesterton might say (had he lived another 100 years)--experts are wrong, and the locals who see this thing while they're fishing every day are right. Unfortunately, those ignorant tribesman know nothing of evolutionary impossibilities; but let's not tell them, at least they understand reality better than a paleontologist.

The Fifth Time's the Charm

2010-09-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

We had an amazing blessing this week. Over the past 4 years I've had 4 miscarriages, all of them very early, with the latest lasting until the 7th or 8th week. I found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks ago, and I was sure this was going to be miscarriage #5. After so many, you get used to the symptoms...feeling very pregnant, and then, all of a sudden, not. My last miscarriage was a missed miscarriage, eventually ending in a D&C, so I thought that was happening again and had prepared myself for the worst.

I had to wait 2 weeks after my doctor's visit to have an ultrasound, which I just had a few days ago. I had told the ultrasound technician what I was expecting to see, and what I had experienced, so she would be ready. She checked me out, before looking at the baby, but as she zoomed in we both saw it--a beating heart! It was so unexpected that I broke into sobs--and so did she! It was an amazing blessing and it's been an amazing week. We are still praying for the little one--because of my history and the way my body is, I need to take things easy until we can get to 12 weeks.

Words cannot express how overwhelmed I've been, and I'm still grateful each day we make it through. I have been blessed by SO MANY people praying for us. One dear friend, who didn't even know I was pregnant, just thought that maybe I was and had been spending the week praying for our unborn baby! So thank you for your prayers, and Lord willing, we'll meet this kid sometime around May 7th!

I Wish Ron Paul was My Doctor

2010-09-15T15:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I read one of the best articles I ever have on being Pro-Life. This was a "mini" book (40 pages) written by Ron Paul way back in 1983, when legalized abortion was just 10 years old. He has the perspective of having been in medical school when the entire attitude towards abortion was changing. He does an excellent job demonstrating that legalized abortion always comes from a society that no longer loves freedom. He gives a solid Christian, Constitutional, and medical perspective, I was quite impressed.

He has several suggestions for the Pro-Life movement in general that I thought were very applicable, even today. It is a tool of the pro-aborts to emphasize the rights of the mother. He says that pro-lifers accept the argument, but try to assert that the baby's rights take precedence over the mother's. He says that we need to be more bold and assert that the mother has all her rights, and the baby has all his, but the mother has a specific obligation to care for her child--to seek life and care for it--in the same way that a physician has an obligation to seek life and health for his patients. This is a moral obligation and has nothing to do with anybody's "rights."

I know just a few years ago Paul introduced a bill into the House which, if it had made it out of committee, could have stopped Roe v. Wade right away. It was a bill that stated the U.S. Supreme Court did not have jurisdiction on the abortion issue at all. It could nullify Roe v. Wade and would immediately send the issue to each state separately, where most states would probably make abortion illegal, and the battle could be concentrated on those where it was still legal. Unfortunately, the man is probably pretty alone in politics, one of the few treating abortion with the seriousness it deserves.

You can get this book by clicking here. Scroll down the page to the first post and click on the words "Download it here" in blue.

Proverbs 24:17

2010-09-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

Remember this? Well maybe this is what eventually happens when you try to run minivans off the road. I'm not gloating...just saying.

On Not Knowing Things

2010-09-07T13:01:00.001-07:00

If you have a bit of time for a good read try this out. It's stellar.

I'll Leave This Property When the Bank Man Pries the Shotgun from my Cold, Dead Hands

2010-09-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to enjoy being a Squatter. Our landlords officially foreclosed on our home this month, which means we have 90 days left to revel in our little paradise. Thankfully, it is seasonally the best time of year (we have no heat or insulation, so the cold winter months aren't quite as pleasant here). We have our rent to save (we don't have to pay the bank anything), and our hound to scare away nosy realtors.

If you know of any great houses let us know; we'll be keeping our eyes open for the bank man.

A Broken Washing Machine is Never Romantic

2010-08-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

Some ways of saving money are so picturesque. My last post on homemade butter churns up (note the pun) such nostalgic memories of bygone eras; ladies in cute dresses; sitting out in the barn with the cows; mixing that cream again and again in the early morning sunrise. Even a broken dryer can evoke such fond thoughts of hanging the washing out on the line...sun shining through...happy children running in and out of the sheets....it's so beautiful, I think I may have seen it on TV.

However, our washing machine is broken, and nothing about it is romantic. Here's the problem: it fills with water, it rinses, and it empties of water; but the motor is broken and nothing agitates. I hate the thought of lugging the loads of wet clothes home from the laundromat, so I've been filling the tub and scrubbing the stuff by hand for a good ten minutes and then letting it soak and rinse on its own. After one or two loads of being up to my elbows in soapy water, scrubbing up and down, and sweating, I'm really hoping we're done with this soon. I can evoke no romantic memories of ladies from years past with washbasins doing a similar thing. And I can tell you, it's nothing like those sirens in the river from "O Brother Where Art Thou?"

A Really Fun Money Saving Tip

2010-08-25T15:24:00.000-07:00

So I was doing my normal Costco shopping last week, and butter was on the list. Imagine my dismay when Costco up and jumped the price of their butter, the 4-lb. pack, an entire dollar! I was irritated and didn't want to pay the new $8.50 price.

Then I remembered a little trip to a farm demonstration show at the county fairgrounds in June. They showed how easy it was to turn whipping cream into butter with a KitchenAid. Hmmm...and how much was a half gallon of whipping cream? Only $5.50 for the same weight (4 pounds) as the butter! So I took it home, and here's what we got:

Put about 2 c. of whipping cream in your KitchenAid with the whisk attachment (a food processor would also work).

Beat on medium-high speed for 10 minutes.

It will go through several stages: first it looks like whipped cream, then a chunkier version (almost like creamed butter). Keep an eye on it when it gets close to the end--when you see the milk liquid (skim milk) separate itself from the solid you have BUTTER! And it's the sweetest creamiest stuff you can't buy.

The Song that Makes My Son Burst into Tears

2010-08-21T19:29:00.000-07:00

On top of spaghetti
All covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball
when somebody sneezed.

It rolled on the table
and onto the floor
and then my poor meatball
rolled out the front door.

It rolled in the garden
and under a bush.
And now my poor meatball
is nothing but mush.

Why does this make him cry? I have no idea. He's four and has sympathetic feelings for the meatball? He loves meat so much he hates to see it wasted? Who knows? Anyway, he burst into tears after this song tonight, mumbling something about the meatball. Not just a few tears either, weepy like anything.

The Fifth Commandment

2010-07-02T14:51:00.000-07:00

When I was young, both my parents had to work full-time. This was for honest financial reasons and not, as sometimes is the case, a justification to keep up a glamorous lifestyle. We owned one car, we paid $200/month mortgage for our mobile home, and we shopped at thrift stores. However, to keep us out of daycare my mom worked full-time during the day while my dad worked full-time all night as a janitor on the graveyard shift and took graduate classes during the day. As a result, they usually only saw each other when one got home and handed the other the car keys. Sunday nights were often the only times they had alone together.

And that's just what I want to honor them for. They gave up much of their own comfort and desires to raise my sister and I in a godly way. They were firm in their conviction to keep us out of daycare, and home with them, and God blessed them enormously for it with the only true wealth--faithful children and grandchildren and treasures laid up in heaven. My Dad said, a few years ago, "When you have a family you do whatever you have to to provide for them." And God blessed his faithfulness; both materially and spiritually.

I am often concerned about our financial situation. As with most of our friends, money is tight when you're on one income, living on a teacher's salary, and raising kids in one of the most expensive counties in the country. But then I remember my parent's sacrifice and their hard work to provide for me, and I remember that we are rich indeed; and our God who clothes the flowers of the field, knows exactly what we need. If the harvest we reap consists of faithful children who love their heavenly Father with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength; we will have real wealth in the end, of the kind that you truly can take with you.

I REALLY Couldn't Have Said It Better

2010-06-10T14:32:00.001-07:00

I have a friend, who is frankly, the best blogger I have ever read. She recently wrote this post which is simply beautiful. I wish I could print it out and hang it in my house, somewhere I could see it every day--but I think it's too long. Anyway, she makes me sound like just a blubbering fool.

On Giving and Taking Offense

2010-06-02T14:15:00.001-07:00

Several of my blogging friends and ladies I know have been discussing the how and when to share opinions and taking offense. This article I read back in college, and is the best I've ever read on the subject. It's short and to the point, but great on both being too quick to share opinions and too quick to take offense. What do you think?

(By the way, I have no idea what the strange drawings are on the top of that web page, it's the only place I could find the article on-line).

A Timely Word

2010-05-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

If I had a daughter, this is what I hope she would be like.

Politically Incorrect Nursery Rhymes

2010-05-20T16:17:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of nursery rhymes, here are some written by the 20th-century author, Hilaire Belloc, Chesterton's best friend. These are family-favorites, although possibly a bit culturally insensitive.

Rebecca

Who Slammed Doors For Fun And Perished Miserably

A trick that everyone abhors
In little girls is slamming doors.
A wealthy banker's little daughter
Who lived in Palace Green, Bayswater
(By name Rebecca Offendort),
Was given to this furious sport.

She would deliberately go
And slam the door like billy-o!
To make her uncle Jacob start.
She was not really bad at heart,
But only rather rude and wild;
She was an aggravating child...

It happened that a marble bust
Of Abraham was standing just
Above the door this little lamb
Had carefully prepared to slam,
And down it came! It knocked her flat!
It laid her out! She looked like that.

Her funeral sermon (which was long
And followed by a sacred song)
Mentioned her virtues, it is true,
But dwelt upon her vices too,
And showed the deadful end of one
Who goes and slams the door for fun.

The children who were brought to hear
The awful tale from far and near
Were much impressed, and inly swore
They never more would slam the door,
-- As often they had done before.

Hilaire Belloc

Matilda Who told Lies, and was Burned to Death

Matilda told such Dreadful Lies,
It made one Gasp and Stretch one's Eyes;
Her Aunt, who, from her Earliest Youth,
Had kept a Strict Regard for Truth,
Attempted to Believe Matilda:
The effort very nearly killed her,
And would have done so, had not She
Discovered this Infirmity.
For once, towards the Close of Day,
Matilda, growing tired of play,
And finding she was left alone,
Went tiptoe to the Telephone
And summoned the Immediate Aid
Of London's Noble Fire-Brigade.
Within an hour the Gallant Band
Were pouring in on every hand,
From Putney, Hackney Downs, and Bow.
With Courage high and Hearts a-glow,
They galloped, roaring through the Town,
'Matilda's House is Burning Down!'
Inspired by British Cheers and Loud
Proceeding from the Frenzied Crowd,
They ran their ladders through a score
Of windows on the Ball Room Floor;
And took Peculiar Pains to Souse
The Pictures up and down the House,
Until Matilda's Aunt succeeded
In showing them they were not needed;
And even then she had to pay
To get the Men to go away,
It happened that a few Weeks later
Her Aunt was off to the Theatre
To see that Interesting Play
The Second Mrs. Tanqueray.
She had refused to take her Niece
To hear this Entertaining Piece:
A Deprivation Just and Wise
To Punish her for Telling Lies.
That Night a Fire did break out--
You should have heard Matilda Shout!
You should have heard her Scream and Bawl,
And throw the window up and call
To People passing in the Street--
(The rapidly increasing Heat
Encouraging her to obtain
Their confidnce) -- but all in vain!
For every time she shouted 'Fire!'
They only answered 'Little Liar!'
And therefore when her Aunt returned,
Matilda, and the House, were Burned.

Hilaire Belloc

...And No More Happiness!

2010-04-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

Only the Bay Area could come up with something like this. At least we all know what kind of person takes toys away from little kids.

I Like Any Kind of Person, Except the Little Ones

2010-04-27T13:57:00.000-07:00

Just as a warning, that was sarcastic, and this is ranting.

I am frustrated with landlords in my area who don't like kids. We are not a huge family, we have two kids, and they are little. We currently live in a home that's about 600 sq. feet, which is the biggest place we've lived in. We need to look for a new place and the next time I have a landlord tell me that their place is "too small" for us I think I'm going to throw the phone through the nearest wall. It's all I can do to keep myself from giving them an earful over the phone--giving ourselves no chance to rent from them ever.

I've had landlords tell me that their place is "too small" for us because it's "only" 1200 sq. feet. I've had landlords tell me their place is "too small" because it "only" has two bedrooms.

Now the minute I see what looks like a good deal in our area, and would suit our family, I cringe to send them an email or phone call, knowing the way I feel when I get that kind of response. Yuck.

Get out of my way, I have something to throw.

Love Your Mother

2010-04-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

Ares

2010-04-19T14:16:00.000-07:00

This is a list of events that occurred the week of my birthday. No wonder my sign is the god of war.

1. Beginning of War for Independence
2. Beginning of Civil War
3. Ending of Civil War
4. Lincoln's assassination
5. The Great San Francisco earthquake
6. Titanic sunk
7. Hitler's birthday
8. Oklahoma City bombing

As T.S. Eliot said, "April is the cruellest month..."

Our Representatives

2010-04-12T14:03:00.000-07:00

When the health care bill deal first started coming around, I alerted my representative to let him know what this household thought of that idea (respectfully, a load of hooey). I believe that was around 14 months ago, right after Obama was inaugerated. Today I got the following response from Sam Farr (notice how I'm his "Friend"):

April 12, 2010

Dear Friend:

Thank you for contacting my office. I value the input of every resident of the Central Coast, and my office reads and reviews every message, phone call and letter. I personally review much of this communication, and I take your feedback into account.

My office also tries to follow up with as many constituents as possible, so we will do our best to be in touch with a more substantive answer soon. Please know that I appreciate hearing your comments and will keep them in mind as Congress addresses the many important issues facing our country.

For more information on a range of issues, please visit my Web site at http://www.farr.house.gov

I also send out occasional e-mails on issues I believe are important to the Central Coast. To sign up for these e-mail updates, please visit http://www.farr.house.gov/contact and fill out the simple form.

Thank you again for offering your thoughts, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

SAM FARR

Member of Congress

He values my input so much that he waits until after the bill passes, 14 months later, to send a response. Well, it's not like I would vote for him anyway, but he's sure not working that hard to earn it.

If Only My Words Were Written in a Book

2010-03-31T14:57:00.000-07:00

Most of you reading this blog (as far as I know) probably know that I've been struggling the last 3 years or so with weird, unexplained illnesses. I've never been one to slow down much, so it's been a struggle to constantly fight with fatigue, nasuea, headaches, and whatever else it seems to throw in our path. Besides the sickness I've had at least 4 miscarriages, which have also tired out my body. I tried seeing our family doctor, an endocrinologist, and a gynecologist, and I was quite tired of seeing doctors. I decided not to see any more, and just pray that if this was a serious problem, that God would make it worse, and more obvious, for a wise doctor to take care of. It has been both literally and figuratively, a "thorn in my side."

Thankfully, this last week, we had a wonderful answer to our problems! Most likely it is endometriosis, and I'll be having surgery next week. I never thought that I would be so grateful to have something wrong with me--but just giving the illness a name, and knowing something can be done about it has been wonderful.

I've felt a lot like Job these last few years, and I've talked with my husband about what God has been wanting to teach me through all this. He explained that although Job never cursed God for his trials, he didn't praise Him for them either. Job's last companion, Elihu, who speaks the truth to him before God shows up, condemns Job for not praising God for what He has brought him. My husband also explained that this is why the Book of Psalms follows Job; unlike Job, David praised God continually in his adversity.

I know I have failed many times in being thankful, especially for a gift from God that I didn't want--like this illness. It's been a hard lesson, but one worth learning. May God give me the grace to show gratitude when all the daily trials come!

Would You Let Your Kid Eat This?

2010-03-27T22:54:00.000-07:00

This was my favorite cereal when I was 4. Nobody else ever remembers it, but someone in You Tube-land does. Maybe it's because none of my friends were allowed to eat the stuff.

The Luckiest Day in Christendom

2010-03-17T13:52:00.000-07:00

I enjoy celebrating St. Patrick's Day. Despite the red hair (which is Norwegian), I have absolutely no Irish blood in me whatsoever, but St. Patrick is my hero. Besides, St. Patrick's Day is certainly not an ethnic holiday--St. Patrick himself was British! I love to tell my kids about how he bravely saved Ireland from demon-worship. I love to sing his song, St. Patrick's breastplate-- what other song in the hymnal has wizards in it? And I love whiskey. St. Patrick's Day could also represent another holiday redeemed on the calendar from the pagans, much like Easter or Christmas.

The Ides of March (March 15th) was previously the most unlucky day of the pagan calendar. This was the feast day of the god Ares, or Mars, the god of war. Considering that most wars were fought in the spring, it was often a time of battle and death. Also, most famously, it is the day Caesar was stabbed by his friends ("beware the Ides of March"). In fact, even in modern times, the Russian Revolution was considered complete on this day when Czar Nicholas abdicated his rule. Then St. Patrick, the Christian missionary, goes and dies at this time of year, and his feast day replaces Ares. Considering his life--miraculously preserved from wicked kings and Druid priests, saving the Irish nation, and eventually saving western civilization--his saint's day unknowingly changed the unluckiest time of year into the luckiest.

Hopefully, Someday He'll be as Theologically Astute as His Namesake

2010-03-09T13:34:00.001-08:00

My 4-year-old on the Gospels:

"I think that maybe the 12 disciples were wizards, because normal men can't do magic."

Maybe He'll Work for the Health Department Some Day

2010-03-04T13:25:00.001-08:00

Here's an interesting conversation I had today with my 5-year-old while he was eating a hot dog for lunch.

L: Mama, Papa told me what hot dogs are made of.
Me: Oh yeah? What did he say?
L: It's intestines. It's pig intestines. I didn't know that it was made of intestines.
Me: Is that gross?
L: Yeah.
Me: Are you still going to eat it?
L: Yeah, because it tastes good with ketchup on it.

A Late Memorial

2010-02-27T11:49:00.001-08:00

Sometimes in the spring I think about my great-grandmother, Lois Earnest. She passed away in the spring, seven years ago, and she was one of the toughest people I've ever known, she was tough for her gratitude. I only wish my boys could have known her.

She was married at 18, already several months pregnant with her first child. Her and her husband lived on a genuine Idaho homestead in the mountains above Grangeville, in North Idaho. This was a serious homestead--log cabin and all. Her father-in-law first established it, and used to nurse cavalry soldiers back to health there who had been injured in wars against the Indians. Both my grandfather and his older brother were raised there, until the land was taken away by the IRS for payment of back taxes.

From that time on she lived in many different places, mostly traveling with her husband who was a miner. For several years she lived in a tarpaper shack that my great-grandfather built along the banks of the Clearwater River. There was a small community of miners there, and they lived in homes with no running water, electricity, or insulation, in a place where the snow often got high enough to not see out the windows. The only place you could walk was the narrow pathway to the outhouse and back.

My great-grandfather mined for gold along the river, and often got into trouble doing things like digging a mine tunnel under the highway. Not realizing that he was directly under the highway he had my great-Uncle Jim hand him several loads of dynamite to blow through a particularly hard rock. It wasn't until they set the dynamite and crawled out to safety, that they realized they had blown a crater through the middle of the highway. They had to pay the highway department to fix it.

This was the 1930s, and a difficult time for most people financially. My great-grandfather was the only one in his community who owned a rifle, and he would hike into the mountains and shoot several deer in a day, then go around from house to house and tell the locals where the deer were so they could hike up themselves, pack it out, and butcher it for their family. Since he saved many families from starving, the local Fish & Game warden turned a blind eye to his over-limit shooting. I still own his rifle, with his name carved into the side, stained with the blood of those deer.

When my great-Uncle Jim was about 20 he was killed in a bar fight, resulting over a particularly beautiful woman. Her younger son, my grandfather, eloped with his girlfriend at 15. They took off across Montana to try to get married in North Dakota, were there was still no age of consent. She sent the cops after them, but they didn't make it in time--the teenagers were already married. They had my Dad a year later, at 16, and are still married to this day. In his late 20s my grandfather was injured in a mining accident and never walked again.

My great-grandfather passed away in the early 1970s, after many years of battling tuberculosis. My great-grandmother married again in the late 1970s, to an old family friend. He began to take her to church regularly, and even after he passed away she was a faithful attendee. As she began to lose her mind, the only thing that kept her anchored was church on Sunday. As the week went by, she became more and more confused, until Sunday morning, when she was reborn.

The only thing she ever lost was her mind. My grandfather used to proudly state that she had never been sick in her life, and she only suffered from arthritis in both her knees. As long as I knew her she walked like she was waddling, with her knees buckled together.

The most remarkable thing about her is that the only time I ever heard her complain was on particularly cold mornings she would say, "Oooo, my knees are hurting a bit today." She was always gracious, kind, and cheerful, even when she couldn't remember who her own family members were. Once, at a family gathering, where many were bickering and nit-picking at each other, she just sat in her chair and smiled. "Isn't it just wonderful to have everyone together?" She said to me with a smile on her face. The only time I can recall her not smiling was when her second husband died of complications from a stroke when I was in junior high.

When I am tempted to be grumpy and unhappy with what God has given me, I like to remember her life and graciousness with which she lived it. She outlived two husbands and one son, braved log cabin winters, and crippling arthritis. She never complained, and in fact lived to know at least one great-great grandson (due to the family habit of marrying and having children quite early). At the end of her life she was a sweet and pleasant woman, filled with gratitude, and no complaints.

Seniors These Days...

2010-02-22T20:10:00.000-08:00

The news can be seriously entertaining sometimes. The picture alone is worth a thousand words.

I Can't Believe That This is Not a Joke

2010-02-18T13:58:00.001-08:00

Honestly, I don't know whether I should laugh or cry after seeing this. OK, that's not true, I only laughed. Really, why would you seek out unbelievers to care for your pets, and not seek them out for the gospel? Would it really matter whether or not Fido got his daily walk once the bowls of God's judgment were being poured out on mankind?

I Didn't Watch the Superbowl, but I Do Watch Commercials

2010-02-08T15:22:00.000-08:00

This is funny.

Better Hot Dogs with Love, Than Organic Food and Ungratitude

2010-02-01T13:17:00.000-08:00

My old friend from college, Hannah Grieser, has a great post on her blog about enjoying all of the food God made in the world. You can read it here.

I love good food as much as the next person, I love eating it and I love making it. On my honeymoon I once spent more on a bottle of wine than on our hotel room for that night. In fact, I tend to think that most of our country's eating disorders come from not loving food enough--such as being grateful to God for all of it, and not treating hunger on the same level as an itch you need to scratch.

Still, our priorities are all confused if we believe that we can somehow attain righteousness by feeling guilty for having eaten food that was not gourmet. As if I needed to repent of listening to folk music, because I could have listened to Mozart. One example of this lack of proportion I recently saw in San Francisco--the "Healthy San Francisco Initiative" now taxes every restaurant patron in order to promote healthy lifestyles. I wonder if those lifestyles involve worshiping the true God weekly and raising godly children? San Francisco could definitely use more of that, and certainly not abortionists who encourage me to eat my vegetables

What I Think of Jay Leno

2010-01-29T14:22:00.000-08:00

Not that anyone would care. And not that I've watched any late-night television in the last ten years or so, but I was reading on-line news headlines about the nasty exchanges he's been having and I have a little story that I think illustrates his character perfectly.

Two summers ago I was driving to meet my husband at my in-law's home in Beverly Hills. There's a small mountain pass (Coldwater Canyon) that takes you from the 101 freeway in Studio City over to Beverly Hills. After the last traffic light, the two lanes of traffic merge into one. Here I was, in my mom minivan, with two little kids inside, plodding through the intersection. After the road had already gone down to one lane, I hear a massive engine revving behind me. It got louder and louder, and I realized it was getting closer. I looked to my right and saw a car pushing past me, shoving me into the lane of oncoming traffic. As I swerved over (thankfully no one was coming straight at me), I looked next to me to see who the jerk was that was trying to kill my children. It was Jay Leno. He was driving a convertible, so it was clear who it was.

For some reason, since then, I've never found him funny.

The Times They are A'Changin

2010-01-27T13:44:00.001-08:00

Or at least hopefully they are...

Over 2/3 of abortion doctors are over the age of 50.

Over 50% of Americans would describe themselves as "pro-life."

Planned Parenthood closed a record number of clinics last year.

A Mother I Hope to be Like

2010-01-23T21:54:00.000-08:00

"I give thanks to Almighty God, the Creator of all things, who has not found me completely unworthy, for He has deigned to welcome to His kingdom a child conceived in my womb. I am not at all cast down in my mind because of what has happened, for I know that my child, who was called away from this world in his white baptismal robes, will be nurtured in the sight of God."

--Queen Clotilde of the Franks (475-548 A.D.)

Queen Clotilde was the wife of Clovis the Great, the first King of the Franks who repented and became a Christian. At this time he was an idol worshipper, and Clotilde was a Christian. She convinced him to have their firstborn son baptized, and the boy died minutes after the sacrament was done. She said this to him when he mocked her decision to baptize him. Clovis became a Christian later, through the prayers of his wife, and his conversion paved the way for all of western European tribes to turn to Christ. He also was the first king to unite France into the country we recognize today.

Hobbits Don't Like the Health Care Plan Either

2010-01-07T14:51:00.000-08:00

"So things went from bad to worse. There wasn't no smoke left, save for the Men; and the Chief didn't hold with beer, save for his Men, and closed all the inns; and everything except Rules got shorter and shorter, unless one could hide a bit of one's own when the ruffians went round gathering stuff up 'for fair distribution': which meant they got it and we didn't..."

--The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien

All I Want for Christmas

2009-12-24T10:59:00.000-08:00

Why the EPA Wants to Kill Us, or God Made a Good World

2009-12-16T14:06:00.000-08:00

Well, here we go. I have wanted to blog on some science stuff at some point, so we'll try this out and see if anyone is interested. I at least hope the eye-catching title gets you to read it.

Ever since I did my senior thesis work in asbestos I learned a lot about how the EPA and groups like OSHA work. Basically some good intentions gone horribly wrong. I would like to take this opportunity to throw a small water balloon over their high, impervious wall of governmental authority. Here's a few common misconceptions that will get you to enjoy the world God made hopefully just a little more:

1. Asbestos is not bad for you. Asbestos describes the way some rock crystals naturally grow. It's an amazing thing, but they grow into fuzzy balls that look like cotton. It is amazing stuff that cannot be burned and can be made into any shape imaginable. Unless you mine the stuff, it probably won't do a thing to you. You breathe nearly 4,000 asbestos fibers every day outside in the air. Since making asbestos insulation illegal there are more catastrophic fires and more people have died. You see, since it is the perfect insulator, asbestos can keep your house from burning down. The EPA itself doesn't even know what asbestos is, and it classifies certain small chunks of rocks as asbestos that are totally harmless.

2. Lead paint won't do anything to you. The EPA only measures total lead in something, and doesn't pay attention if the lead is by itself, lead sulfide, lead oxide, or some other combination. Your body can't digest lead by itself or lead sulfide (which is usually the type put into paint). You can eat it all day and it goes all the way through. Only lead oxide can be absorbed by your blood, so no gnawing on rusty pipes, but other than that there's no problem.

3. Carbon dioxide is not a pollutant. Every plant and animal breathes out carbon dioxide, and plants need it to survive. It's carbon monoxide that comes out of car exhaust and combines with oxygen in the lower atmosphere, creating smog (which is really just ozone).

4. Arsenic is good for you. There are certain elements that are poisons in large amounts, but your body needs them in trace amounts, and the only way you can get them is by drinking tap water. Water runs over rocks, and the minerals get dissolved into them. Other minerals in tap water like calcium, magnesium, sodium, or iron are entirely harmless (although they may effect taste).

5. Without global warming we would all die. Global warming really refers to the fact that our atmosphere keeps us relatively cozy. It holds in the heat from the sun and that's a great thing. If you want to end global warming, move to the planet Mercury and see how you like it there.

Sumo Wrestling Training Academy

2009-12-09T20:03:00.000-08:00

Yes, we start young. The dog wanted to join in, but her belly isn't big enough.

I Know Why the Fates Were Old Women

2009-12-01T16:54:00.000-08:00

The Fates, from ancient Greek mythology, were three old women who sat at their looms. They sewed constantly, weaving the tapestry that was your life. When they cut the thread at the end to tie it off...you were dead. They knew the future, and could tell if the choices you made would inevitably lead to your destruction. I think I know why they were old women.

I have realized, being a mother, that I am a fatalist, and if I don't change before I get old, I will be a Fate. This is because I know what's going to happen. When my son puts his milk too close to his elbow at the table, I know what's going to happen. When it's raining outside and everyone rushes in the door with their boots, I know what's going to happen. When kids start playing tag through the house, racing around corners, I know what's going to happen. It makes sense, and the consequences are obvious.

Usually I'm right, but a problem arises when I'm wrong. Sometimes the kid running down the hillside, arms flailing in the breeze, with both his shoes untied...doesn't fall down. Sometimes friends jumping off the top bunk, landing on the couch...doesn't get anybody hurt. While I am a fatalist, my husband is Providential--go ahead, let them try it, he insists, what's the worst that could happen? Getting injured is not necessarily the worst consequence in the world.

Job's wife was another fatalist, "Curse God and die!" She told her husband. God had hurt Job, so that made sense, it was definitely the reasonable thing to do. However, Job was not a fatalist, he was Providential. He refused to curse the God that brought the gifts in form of trials. In the end, he was blessed beyond all reason.

God most assuredly is not a fatalist. He foresaw all the trouble, destruction, and mess that we would make of the world--and He made it anyway. He relishes crooked lines, messes, and off-balanced toddlers running down the hill. He can draw straight, clean up, and even heal broken skin. Even Adam in Paradise may have tripped and skinned his knee, or knocked his milk over, and he blessed God when he did so.

More On Little Known History

2009-11-10T14:55:00.000-08:00

We live in a town which notoriously disdains its history. There are a few museums, here and there, but most are sparsely attended and stocked. Maybe it has something to do with earthquakes destroying everything every few years, or something.

I've been interested in Santa Cruz history ever since I've moved here, but even more keenly so since this is where I'm raising my children. I've looked for good history materials, but have never found anything more than a few pages, until my husband came home with Santa Cruz County: Parade of the Past written by Margaret Koch. It's an older book, published in 1973, but is by far the most thorough I've ever seen.

A couple of my favorite characters so far include Adna Hecox and Elihu Anthony. They moved to Santa Cruz County back in the 1840s, and both were Methodist ministers. Hecox preached a sermon while he was camped in Sacramento, on the trail, which was the first Protestant sermon ever preached in California. He and Anthony moved their families to Santa Cruz where they started agricultural businesses. Hecox was also elected mayor (a position of considerable importance under Mexican rule), and was the county's supreme court justice--and at a time with no written law code to go by, he had to weigh each case with what he knew of Biblical justice. He was later appointed by the U.S. federal government to man the lighthouse that was built at Steamer's Lane (the lighthouse that stands there now is a replica of the older one). His daughter tended the lighthouse after he passed away.

By this time the Santa Cruz Mission had been nearly abandoned, or taken over by secular government offices. When the Mexicans took over California, all the missions were secularized and given out to regional governments. Hecox and Anthony began Methodist church services in a home and Hecox donated some of his land to build the church on his property--the first Protestant church building in California!

On Kids and Dogs

2009-11-03T14:09:00.001-08:00

For those who don't know yet, we got a dog, her name is Dax, about two weeks ago. When I was a kid lots of kids got dogs, and got them for free, or captured one that was wandering down an alley somewhere. They slept outside in a plastic house (or were let into the garage when the temperature plunged sub-zero), and ate the cheapest bulk food we could find. We took them to the vet for rabies shots and (...ahem...) to have certain reproductive tools removed, and that was it.

Now that I have a dog in Santa Cruz County, it's a totally different world. We have a sweet blue heeler/pointer mix who follows us around and is very obedient (except for digging holes). I enjoy taking her places, because she's well behaved and likes to ride in the car, but I've realized I don't like the attention she gets. There was a certain type of person who used to always come up and coo over my newborn baby (when I had one), who was usually very kind and thoughtful, and was usually a grandmother. Now I meet the certain type of person who comes up and coos over my dog...like it is a newborn...and this weirds me out. Not normal, friendly people, or little kids who ask permission to pet her, but the weird ones. Like the lady at the pound who asked me why I would feel the need to separate the dog from our family because I said on the adoption application that our dog could sleep outside if it felt like it.

For example, yesterday at the beach I was interviewed by the local news channel what I would do if my dog contracted H3N8. I didn't know what that was, and had to be informed that it's like swine flu for dogs. WEIRD ALERT! No, I hadn't actually heard of it, and yes, if my dog got it we'd probably let her sleep around the house until she felt better. No, I'm not worried. As you can probably tell, my bit got cut at production.

Secondly, we met an older couple with a newly adopted "newborn" puppy. They were carrying around this giant lab puppy like a baby and talking to it in squeaking voices...yes, both the man and his wife were. When their puppy said hello to our dog, Dax jumped away and nearly knocked me over. The man pointed at the dogs and yelled at me, "You'd better stay out of their way!" WEIRD ALERT! Sorry, sir, but I'm going to try and stay out of your way.

We explain this phenomenon to our kids by explaining that some people here are confused. They treat their dogs like kids and their kids like dogs. It makes sense to them, and they think it's weird too. To reform our culture maybe I'll start using the term "animal tool" instead of "animal companion."

Why Leif Eriksson is My Hero

2009-10-13T13:48:00.000-07:00

When we decided to name our son Leif, we didn't know much about Leif Eriksson at all--except that he probably discovered America before Columbus, around 1000 A.D. We were slightly concerned that we might be naming our son after a bloodthirsty Viking raper and pillager, so we decided to research the man a bit.

What we found absolutely convinced us to name him Leif! Leif Eriksson was really an amazingly brave and good man in the very early days of Nordic Christianity. We've read several historical accounts, and even own the "Sagas of the Greenlanders"--some Nordic tales that should be way more widely read.

Leif's father, Erik the Red, was banished from Iceland around the year 1000 A.D. He had killed a man, possibly on accident, so he left with his family and a fleet of ships to the west. There were rumors of more land that direction, so they went. All but only a handful of ships either turned back or were lost at sea when Erik the Red finally discovered Greenland. They settled there and built homes and farms.

Leif was Erik's second son (he had both an older and younger brother), and so was not poised to inherit any land. He sailed back east to Norway to serve in the guard of King Olaf (later known as Saint Olaf). Olaf had just converted to Christianity, as did the majority of the Scandinavians. Leif served Olaf for several years, and also converted to Christianity. After Leif's time of service was over, Olaf sent him home to Greenland to tell his family "how the White Christ had defeated Thor and all the gods."

On Leif's journey home his boat was caught in a storm and driven off course. He landed in a place he called Vinland, because of the grapes growing everywhere. This was in what is now Newfoundland, Canada. His crew landed and built homes and a small village, which became known as "Leif's Booths." They farmed the fertile land over the winter, hunted, and logged (Greenland has nearly no trees). They saw natives a couple of times, and traded with them. After a couple of years they restocked their boats and went back to find Greenland. On the return trip they also rescued sailors in two other ships who were stranded in the icy waters. When they arrived back at the colony Leif earned the nickname "Leif the Lucky." While he was gone they thought he had been lost at sea, but he returned, with his entire crew, and rescued the crew of two other ships!

Leif shared the gospel with all the Vikings living in the region. They converted, all of them except his father Erik. In fact, Leif's mother, Thorjild, refused to sleep with him again until he repented (which still didn't work)! Leif built a church for his mother, Thorjild's Chapel. He also shared with the villagers the incredibly abundant and rich land just to the west of them. He mapped out how to get there and where his "booths" were. His two brothers sailed off to find the new land--one wrecked his ship and the other was lost at sea, leaving Leif in charge of the Greenland colony.

Legend has it that Erik the Red finally converted on his death bed, and archeologists have found Thorjild's Chapel. There is a churchyard that surrounds it, but three bodies were buried just under the church's wall; which they say are those of Erik, Thorjild, and Leif.

October 9th is Leif Eriksson's Day, which is conspicuously close to October 14th--Columbus Day--and although we like the guy and all (Columbus, that is), we like the Nordic story better.

A Good Day for Sarcasm

2009-10-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought that there was nothing to blog about Obama up and wins the Nobel Peace Prize of all things. Thank you, Captain Obvious, for your observations from the media. Sometimes it's so easy to make a joke that it's better to just chuckle and watch it pass on by. My favorite part is that he won because of the plans he intends on implementing, not on anything he's actually done. Poor Alfred Nobel he must be rolling over in his grave, but the man did invent dynamite, which is not exactly a tool of peace.

Where's the New Post?

2009-10-08T13:42:00.001-07:00

I keep trying to think of blog posts, but when I sit down to write the mind is blank. It's probably that way because I've enjoyed thinking about nothing and zoning out for the precious few minutes a day that's become possible. This fall Leif is in kindergarten, Ryle is in preschool (which I teach), Ryle takes gymnastics, Leif is in soccer (practice and games each week), and I'm coaching junior high basketball. Yep, that's it, we're now one of those families.

She's Done!

2009-10-04T19:08:00.000-07:00

Our lovely friend Jessica has finished some lovely pictures for us!

I Knew Her Before She was Famous

2009-09-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

My friend, Jessica Garaway, is pursuing some work in photography that I think is just grand. You should check out her website, Sweet Voyage, right here. As you scroll down the page you'll find some pretty cute kids--including my own (the rest are related to her).

Hard Times for Satarists

2009-09-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

Although we live in hard times for satarists, where nearly everything they tease actually exists somewhere, it seems like those at The Onion are still surviving all right. This is hilarious. And frighteningly true.

In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?

Save the Planet by Swiping Your Credit Card

2009-09-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

So I recently saw one of these at the San Francisco airport. To make it even more embarrassing, I was at the airport at about 5:00 in the morning, and when I saw the little kiosk, I burst out laughing. I know I looked like an idiot, but not nearly as much as the person who would actually use the thing. My favorite line from the article is "[t]he traveler could then swipe a credit card to help save the planet." If only do-gooding was always as easy as swiping my credit card. I bet you get a warm, fuzzy feeling when you do it too.

My second-favorite line is "travelers...will soon be able to assuage their guilt," which makes me wonder if John Tetzel is really the one behind this thing. Does anyone else think this whole system seems the least bit fishy?

Why Don't They Make Kids Shows Like This Anymore?

2009-08-31T13:22:00.000-07:00

When I was little I remember my parents running to join us in the living room when The Muppet Show came on, and I used to wonder why. Now I know--it's hilarious, and I make my kids watch it so I can watch it with them.

Ahhh, the good old days. Now I can think of at least 15 different things that they would probably be sued for.

Gratitude

2009-08-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

Today I am so thankful to God for His kindness. Two years ago we started a two-morning-a-week preschool with some friends in the hopes of starting a full-time school by the time my son was ready for kindergarten. We started with 4 students, ages 2 1/2 to 4 years old. God has blessed our efforts tremendously and today St. Abraham's Classical Christian Academy opened its doors to a class of three 2nd graders, three 1st graders, and two kindergarteners (my son being in kindergarten). In two weeks we start preschool with no less than 10 students! My sister is our full-time Kindergarten through 2nd grade teacher while I'm still teaching preschool. My thanks also go out to the Brownlees and the Farleys who are graciously hosting our students at their homes! Praise God for His kindness!

At Least We Can Defend Ourselves when the Social Workers Show Up at the Door

2009-08-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

We pray for our president a lot, mostly because he makes us really nervous. This week he did something, or rather didn't do something, that's actually really good news. Of course, nobody in the media thinks it's good news, but I think it's good news. It seems like he let pass into law the lifting of the ban that didn't allow people to carry loaded guns into national parks. Well, if he doesn't follow any of the Constitution except for the 2nd amendment, at least we'll be able to defend ourselves when the social workers show up, asking us to sign on to national health care.

Stories About Idaho, Part 3

2009-07-30T12:31:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a good ol' boy local legislator who had been in office for years. There was an election coming up and a doctor from Nampa (just west of Boise) decided to challenge him. Everyone was excited as this guy was a self-proclaimed reformer who was tired of the incumbent's wastefulness and wanted to take him on. He quickly gained a following and locals were getting excited about an election that was usually pretty routine.

The challenger was invited to do an interview for a local TV station to define his political platform. He started out pretty normal, talking about how pork needed cutting and taxes needed dropping, but then something strange happened. As he started talking he started loosening his tie. Then he unbuttoned his shirt. At this point the TV reporter started squirming. Then he started taking off his dress shirt. At this point the TV reporter stopped asking questions. When he started pulling off his undershirt the TV station cut to a commercial.

Once the initial confusion wore off it turned out this political reformer was nothing but an escapee of the local insane asylum. He was not, nor had ever been a doctor, and the asylum authorities had been searching for him for about six months.

And that's what Idaho is like.

Stories About Idaho, Part 2

2009-07-23T14:17:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time I had a contest with a boy in my class about how hick our families were. I told him that my relatives always compared hunting stories and how often they had shot each other in the foot.

He told me about his grandmother who chewed tobacco in the summer. When she was done with it, she didn't spit it out, but she put it on the fencepost outside to dry. When the weather got cold she took that same wad of tobacco from the fencepost and smoked it in her pipe. She saved the dregs from the pipe and chewed them in the summer, drying them on the fencepost....and on it goes. In fact she had not bought new tobacco in something like ten years. He won the contest.

This is what Idaho is like.

Stories About Idaho

2009-07-23T11:22:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time I had a friend from one of the smallest towns in Idaho. As she put it, the town was so small that you had to know, in detail, who you were related to so you didn't accidentally date them.

Her uncle was a high school rodeo champion and had won multiple massively-large belt buckles as prizes. He wore these with pride on his belt, for years and years. Eventually his beer belly got so big that the belt buckles rubbed into his stomach. Instead of finding a more suitable belt buckle, he just got his chainsaw, cut the belt buckles straight through the middle, and kept wearing them.

And that's what Idaho is like.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!

2009-07-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

Quote of the Week

2009-07-17T14:42:00.000-07:00

I had never known that Flannery O'Connor said this before, but I really like it. It seems to be a good way to judge any medium of fiction: novels, movies, TV, etc.

"The two worst sins of bad taste in fiction are pornography and sentimentality. One is too much sex and the other too much sentiment........What offends my taste in fiction is when right is held up as wrong, or wrong as right. Fiction is the concrete expression of mystery--mystery that is lived."

Flannery O'Connor

Encouragement for Moms

2009-07-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

This is a funny story taken from Erma Bombeck. Some of you may remember her, but she was a humor columnist who published around fifteen years ago. She's a Roman Catholic and I read this a few years ago:

There was once a woman at my church who was the perfect mom. She had six kids and always managed to answer her door pregnant when the priest came to call. They were all obedient and cheerful and her house was always tidy. She seemed to be a cheerful woman herself so I asked her once how she managed to do it. She said, "Late at night, when they're all tucked in bed, and their lunches are made, and their clothes are laid out, and their shoes are lined up by the door, and the house is quiet and clean, I get down on my knees and thank the Lord that I didn't kill any of them today."

I Love This

2009-07-13T16:54:00.001-07:00

I know this is old and made the Facebook rounds about four months ago, but I love it. I was thinking about it today when I used my credit card--which I hate doing. I also think about it every time I get frustrated at slow internet connections.

Happy War for Independence Day

2009-07-04T15:11:00.000-07:00

I wish this was our current national anthem.

Let tyrants shake their iron rod

And slav'ry clank her galling chains

We fear them not; we trust in God

New England's God forever reigns.

Howe and Burgoyne and Clinton, too,

With Prescott and Cornwallis joined,

Together plot our overthrow,

In one infernal league combined.

When God inspired us for the fight

Their ranks were broke; their lines were forced

Their ships were shattered in our sight

Or swiftly driven from our shore.

The foe comes on with haughty stride

Our troops advance with martial noise

Their veterans flee before our youth

And generals yield to beardless boys.

What grateful off'ring shall we bring,

What shall we render to the Lord?

Loud hallelujahs let us sing,

And praise his name on ev'ry chord!

By Williams Billings, about 1777

California Dreamin'

2009-07-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

My husband is a lifeguard at one of the most unknown beaches in L.A. Well, mostly just unknown to the type of people I know. It turns out that if you live in South Central L.A. and want to go to the beach, and don't know where to go, so you just drive to the end of the freeway, this is the beach you end up at. I love going there so much more than the tourist havens of Manhattan or Hermosa Beach. Those places are filled with frat boys and sorority sisters who plan on staring at each other all day. Here is a taste of what I saw in only 8 hours at Dockweiler (better known as the beach where all the stabbings happen):

Big gangsters swimming in basketball jerseys

Big gangsters swimming in wife beaters

Their ladies in gold and/or sequined bikinis (wearing all their bling)

A generator attached to a boombox blasting Michael Jackson's Thriller

Two couches and two mattresses dragged all the way to shoreside for all-day chillin'

A man with a bellybutton ring (not to mention several others also)

Every hairstyle you remember from 1990

One thing's for sure, they are having WAY more fun here than at the tourist beaches.

How to Make Happiness Even Happier

2009-06-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

We just ended a 12-hour day at the Happiest Place on Earth--Disneyland. One of my favorite things to do is to leave the park and eat dinner at The Nearly-Happiest Place on Earth, the Rainforest Cafe. I think it is called that because a small rainforest needs to be clearcut daily in order to supply power to the place.

Anyway, I like to say that it's nearly the happiest place because it is there where we sit in air conditioning and have a margarita. After that I am prepped and ready to tackle the Happiest Place for a couple more hours. My tired and drooping feet get cheered up to finish out the day with the kidlets. This year I had (what I think) is a great idea. Why not put a beer garden in the middle of Disneyland? After only a few hours us weak adults are pooped--but the kids are still ready to go. Why not make a nice, discrete little adult watering hole, just to the side of Sleeping Beauty's castle somewhere where they can recharge and be cheerful, participatory parents for another few hours? I bet they could make some real cash with this.

Thoughts on Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

Thankfully I'm not sick of hearing about Michael Jackson on the news yet because I don't watch TV, and the internet doesn't scream at me (yet). I realized yesterday that when I was a kid I told my mom that I couldn't imagine a world without Michael Jackson. "Some day he's going to die!" I told her, "Yep, just like everybody else." She wisely answered. I, however, was young and couldn't believe that someone that powerful could be mortal. Maybe that's what he thought too, and that's why he got so weird.

Michael Jackson and Madonna both defined the culture of my growing-up years, but mostly because I was the only kid I knew who wasn't allowed to listen to either of them. I heard about them, read about them, looked at pictures of them, and had friends tell me about them, but they were off-limits in my house. It was one of those strange childhood things that you're not allowed to do and for some reason you become fascinated with. I remember sitting in my cousin's room looking at his Thriller poster and him telling us all about it. I remember that same cousin coming to a family dinner with one white glove on his hand. When my grandma asked him why only one he said, "You only wear one." I thought that was so cool.

Well, at least the park in Beverly Hills will be a little less creepy this year.

By the way, I finally did get to see Thriller (by junior high or so), and it is pretty cool. But it would have absolutely freaked me out if I'd seen it when I wanted to. And it's amazing how closely he ended up resembling those zombies.

Who Gave You the Right?

2009-06-24T13:44:00.001-07:00

In his book The Abolition of Man C.S. Lewis uses a mistake in a grammar-school textbook to draw conclusions on the state of culture and education in his society, as well as where it is headed. Drawing from his idea, I'd like to present mine. My husband teaches U.S. History to middle school kids and he was reviewing a kids' reference book on the U.S. Constitution. The textbook goes through the entire Bill of Rights, shows the original text, and documents periods in our history where the specific right was featured. It also lists any Supreme Court rulings that have to do with that right. All in all it's a pretty good book, but my husband noticed something that got us thinking.

The book actually stated that the First Amendment "gave us the right to free, unhindered speech." When we looked back at the actual text of the amendment, on the mirroring page, it said, "Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech." Now, who gave us the right? The textbook seemed to say that the constitution gave us the right to free speech; but the language of the constitution itself says that congress may not restrict the freedom of speech. The constitution seems to assume that we have the freedom of speech already.

Now this came as a surprise to me, but probably just because I got an insufficient education. The Declaration of Independence says that man was "endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights." That means that the Founding Fathers believed that civil rights came from God and that congress was not allowed to mess with them. In fact, none of the Bill of Rights actually gives us the right to do anything--it assumes that God has given all people rights and it explains how the federal government may not infringe upon them. If God did give men the right to free speech, then any government that tries to mess with that will ultimately fail.

When we start assuming that the state has given us rights, instead of God granting them, the government can make up any right it chooses. Who's to say stop when we start having a right to abortion, a right to free health care, a right to affordable housing, a right to surf the internet? The UN has already neared the end of that road, and we're not far behind. However, if we assume that God has granted us our rights then we are not allowed to invent just any old right that we choose (in order to justify something we really want). The government that feels that it can grant rights can also take those rights away--then who will we have to complain to?

"All the Glory to God and the Calories to Us!"

2009-06-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

Quote of the week by Nan Devine, chef and hostess extraordinaire after serving up a marvelous Father's Day feast. I asked her if I could keep her quote forever!

The Hills

2009-06-16T13:33:00.001-07:00

Since soon we will be migrating south for the summer and spending time in the famous Beverly Hills, I have been meditating on some of my bizarre impressions of the place. Of course Beverly Hills is world-renowned for famous movie stars, but I think it's definitely one of the weirdest places in the world (I guess it's not odd that those two things should go together). So, in honor of the place, here are my Top Ten Weird Things about Beverly Hills:

10. Houses with no foundations built in an earthquake/fire/flood/mud slide zone.

9. The daughter of the former Shah of Iran who blasts Arab disco through the neighborhood until at least 2 am.

8. Rich people who treat their dogs like children and their children like dogs.

7. Michael Jackson's house that overlooks the only children's park in the city.

6. Paying $10/gallon of milk at Whole Foods.

5. During the day being the only white person in the entire city. Everyone's ethnicity changes between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm. There are Mexican nannies, Mexican landscapers, Mexican construction workers, Mexican pool cleaners, and Mexican dog walkers. I really think more Mexicans should actually live in the houses since they do all the work!

4. The 95-year-old neighbor who is a former Russian ballerina. He is also gay. He also walks his German shepherds every afternoon while wearing a tweed jacket (yes, even in 100+ degree weather). He also paints rocks for a living.

3. George Michael (in all his bling) kindly helping you with your double stroller at the bank.

2. Non-native-English speaking nannies at the park who sit on the grass while the children play in the chlorine-saturated "stream." They sit on the grass and watch the non-native-English speaking construction workers get their lunch at the mobile taqueria. The construction workers stare back. They both make comments about each other in their non-native-English speaking languages. When you combine this with #7 it just discourages me from ever attending the park.

And the #1 weirdest thing about Beverly Hills is.....

1. The 90-year-old neighbor, and former silent film star, who lives with her boyfriend. But it gets weirder--he used to be her mother's boyfriend. And it gets weirder--her mother only passed away about 5 years ago.

Growing Up in Santa Cruz

2009-06-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

I took my younger son to a nearby local bookstore for their "Read Time" this morning. The reader was a sweet older woman, with the perfect British accent that is necessary for a good story hour. She was reading some book about a little boy pig who was always told to make messes and wear dirty clothes (because he's a pig of course), and who had always wanted some day to have a clean room and wear clean clothes (because he didn't fit in). Anyway, at one point in the story the Mama Pig puts her son to bed with the familiar rhyme:

This little piggy went to market

This little piggy stayed home.

This little piggy had roast beef

But this little piggy had none.

And this little piggy cried "Wee," "Wee," "Wee," all the way home!

She paused here to ask the youngsters if they knew that poem too. Their usual blank stares didn't tell her much, but one mom leaned over and pointed to her son saying, "He knows it with tofu." I don't think the reader understood, so she repeated herself, "He knows it with tofu, not roast beef." (She could only bring herself to mouth the hideous words "roast beef"). At this point the employee understood, at least I'm sure more than this mom did, and repeated the poem with the more culturally sensitive changes:

This little piggy went to market

This little piggy stayed home.

This little piggy had TOFU

But this little piggy had none.

And this little piggy cried "Wee," "Wee," "Wee," all the way home!

I thought of insisting that my son knew it with "McDonald's greasy hamburgers" instead of tofu, but thought better of it an instant later. She seemed too pleased.

I Am Michael Scott and So Are You

2009-06-11T12:01:00.000-07:00

This is the best show that's ever been made by the entertainment industry. I haven't watched TV in ages, but I can't get enough of this one! Why is it so great you ask? Well, in the interest of entirely ruining comedy by trying to explain it away, here we go.

1. This show would make Chesterton proud. People do stupid things all day long, and it's hilarious to watch. My life would probably be even worse.

2. Everyone identifies with a different character, but nobody wants to be Michael Scott, the boss. However, the real point is that we are all Michael Scotts. Michael Scott takes every pathetic, sinful, self-centered thought every human thinks throughout the day--and then he says them out loud.

3. The one character who never repents, never changes, never apologizes, and you never feel sorry for is not Michael Scott--it is Ryan the Temp. He is pathetic.

4. Even the most admirable characters on the show mess up.

5. It tells the truth about people--and there is no laugh track.

This is not to say the show is infallible. Some of the more recent episodes make me nervous that it will plunge to the depths of foolishness and inanity where most good TV shows go to die; but I will keep my hopes up until that happens--and if it does I will keep watching the re-runs.

Conversations You Never Saw Coming

2009-06-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

Ryle: "Mama, I love mac 'n' cheese even more than God."

Me: "Ryle, you are not allowed to love mac 'n' cheese more than God."

Ryle: "OK."

Celebrity Spotting in the Hills

2009-06-02T14:21:00.000-07:00

OK, so instead of a shirt and tie, imagine him in a t-shirt and shorts and an i-pod stuck in his ears, and I saw him like that last weekend jogging by my grandmother-in-law's house in Beverly Hills. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it at the time, or I swear I would have said something witty and clever (or it would have sounded witty and clever until it came out of my mouth). In fact I didn't realize it was him for sure until I came home and looked up some pictures of him with a shorter do, since his shaggy mane had been trimmed a bit.

At least now I have about a month to think of something clever to say the next time he jogs by when I'm living there for a couple weeks. How about, "I hope no one puts your i-pod in jello!"

Second Verse Same as the First

2009-06-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

I was one of those kids who didn't have cable growing up, so there were tons of songs I loved on the radio and knew nothing of their music videos. Now that seems like ancient history, since I can look up anything on You Tube! Here's one of my favorites from my high school days and I think the video is better than the song.

Christology for Boys

2009-05-29T16:08:00.000-07:00

So here's a conversation between my 3 1/2-year-old boy and his older brother (and I'm not exaggerating this at all):

R: My head is going to crack right down the middle.

L: Yeah! Down the middle!

R: And it's going to break open.

L: Yeah! Break open!

R: And blood is going to shoot out everywhere (lots of dramatic emphasis using hands).

L: Yeah! Blood everywhere!

R: And the blood is going to flow all over my body.

L: Yeah! All over your body!

R: And then my arms are going to fall off (more dramatic emphasis).

L: Yeah! Your arms!

R: And they're going to rip apart.

L: Yeah! Rip apart!

R: And blood is going to flow everywhere.

L: Yeah! Everywhere!

R: And it's going to happen to everyone in the world.

L: Yeah! Everyone in the world!

R: Except.....for Jesus.

L: Yeah! Except for Jesus!

My husband assures me that they're normal boys. I surely hope they turn out normal.

I Guess Not Much Has Changed in the Last 100 Years or So

2009-05-27T16:24:00.000-07:00

"It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of a dark abysm...of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash."

--H.L. Mencken on a political speech by then-President Warren G. Harding

Yet In My Flesh Shall I See God

2009-05-27T16:20:00.000-07:00

Today I had news that an old friend of the family passed away. The news story is here. I first met the Bettger family when I was probably about 9 years old or so and we went to church together for many years and I was friends with both their children. Their father, Tom, was riding his bike home from an errand last Thursday when he was hit by a car while crossing the intersection.

Tom Bettger was a godly man who served his church, community, and family. He was kind and compassionate and involved in many missionary projects throughout his lifetime. If you think of it, please pray for his widow, Kathy, and their two adult children Molly and Andy and their families.

Well-Behaved Women Don't Invent History

2009-05-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

So I've been having fun continuing the project of my massive family tree. The next step was to do quick internet searches to find historical people in the line and write a short summary of who they were and what they did. Yes, I know, the internet is full of bad information--but I've mostly just been looking to see if someone was known in history at all. One thing that I noticed about halfway through the Middle Ages somewhere is that there were some pretty amazing women around then! Here are some of the more interesting ones (both good and nasty):

Aelia Eudoxia (d. 404): She was the wife of the Eastern Roman Emperor, Arcadius. She actively supported orthodox, Nicene Christianity and gave money to fund the anti-Arians. She became an enemy of John Chrysostom when he condemned women's lavish dresses and parties, because she thought she was being targeted. She had him exiled twice. During his second exile she bled to death after miscarrying her seventh child.

Aelia Eudocia (401-460): She was a servant who had been deprived of her father's inheritance by her evil brothers. She went to court in Constantinople to plead her case, and her persistence attracted the attention of the emperor Theodosius' sister, Pucheria. Pucheria hired her as a lady-in-waiting and taught her manners, introducing her to her brother. Eudocia and Theodosius II were married and she became empress.

Basina de Thuringia: She left her husband and went to Gaul (France), where she proposed to the King of the Franks and he married her. She is known for saying, "I want to have the most powerful man in the world, even if I have to cross the ocean for him." She is the mother of Clovis, the first Frankish king to convert to Christianity.

Theodelinde of Bavaria (570-625): Married to the King of the Lombards, but when he died she chose to marry his brother, making him king. She worked hard to restore orthodox/Nicene Christianity to primacy in Italy, fighting against Arianism. She built many churches in Lombardy and Tuscany, including a cathedral.

Fredegonde (543-597): A servant and mistress of the Frankish king Chilperic I. After he murdered his wife she became queen. She had one brother-in-law assassinated and made attempts on the life of her other two brothers-in-law. When her husband mysteriously died, she took his money and her infant son and took refuge in a cathedral in Paris. She had her infant nephew killed so that her son would inherit his lands. Gregory of Tours says that she was "ruthlessly murderous" and "sadistically cruel" with "few rivals in monstrousness." She may be the source of the evil stepmother in Cinderella fables.

Emma Welf of Altorf (d. 875): Wife of the German King Louis. She led an army against insurrectionists who tried to capture her husband. The traitor was so frightened by the arrival of the queen at the battle lines that he fled to exile. She had seven children.

Gisele, Princess of France (820-876): Youngest daughter of the French Louis I and named after Charlemagne's sister (her aunt). She was known for her piety and virtue and was the sole educator of all nine of her children.

Oxburth of Wight (810-835): She was the mother of Alfred the Great who said she was "a religious woman, noble both by birth and by nature."

One of the bumper stickers that I despise the most is "Well-Behaved Women Don't Make History." I've always tried to come up with a witty comeback for that one, and my husband finally helped me come up with one: "Well-Behaved Women Don't Invent History." These Ancient and Medieval women were anything but pushovers and pawns. They influenced entire nations and empires--either by their righteousness or wickedness. Many of them even converted their husbands through their examples of faithfulness, or were only known because their powerful children praised them, like Alfred the Great's mother. I'm not sure of the definition of "well-behaved" would be, but hopefully the feminists aren't asking for another Fredegonde.

Fun with Swine Flu

2009-05-08T14:05:00.000-07:00

I've been enjoying myself the last few weeks following the breathless pronouncements made by governmental authorities on how worried we should be about the swine flu. Now, don't get me wrong, I have some missionary friends in Mexico where this has been serious business; but even they've been a little overwhelmed by paranoia.

So far, here are my favorite stories:

1. You would think the Muslims would be grateful that they don't eat pork during this time, but even they're getting in on the action. It seems like the lone pig of Afghanistan just got a little more lonely.

2. This one I heard on the news yesterday and I thought it was a joke (if you didn't think #1 was a joke, which it isn't). The WHO has stated that swine flu is not a pandemic...but if it was at least 2 billion people could be infected. Isn't that a little like the USGS saying that there hasn't been a big earthquake in California...but if there was a lot of people could die! It's a good thing we have experts in these things.

3. The last one isn't a news story, but more like some literal swine flu fun. The game is called "Sneeze," and although it starts out fun, it gets a little more creepy. I started to wonder if that's what viruses do with their time off?

Just What I Needed

2009-05-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

I love You Tube. Every nostalgic bone in your body can be fed in an instant. I just found a few favorite gems from years past, that also remind me that being over 30 isn't such a bad thing after all.

Check this out. You can't beat the dancing girls, and the sunglasses. Do you think their lead singer looks like Mark Hamill?

And how about these guys? Don't you love the era when you could be manly, play guitar, have a bushy beard, and wear silvery, skin-tight pants? I think the drummer's a caveman.

Aaahhh..those were the good times. Of course I don't remember much of them, since I was either not quite born yet, or still in diapers, but I do miss their music. And their clothes and their cars.

Can you tell I just figured out how to embed videos? Welcome to the space age!

Our Nanny

2009-04-26T15:02:00.000-07:00

Aren't you glad that we have a government that knows what's best for us? The federal government has promised to treat the swine flu exactly like they would deal with a hurricane. Won't we all be sleeping better tonight knowing that?

OK. So that's two sarcastic posts in a row. I'll stop now.

Welcome to the 21st Century!

2009-04-26T14:49:00.001-07:00

Gavin Newsom, the young liberal mayor of San Francisco, has formally entered the race for California's governor, to be held in 2010. We know this because he announced it on his Facebook page. I wonder if he only lets his "friends" vote for him? We can only hope.